Posts Tagged ‘spice things up’


Boy, do I have a solution for you!

Did you know that kissing can save you money? According to Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker, kissing can prevent you from making unnecessary P.O.P.’s.

What are P.O.P.’s you ask?

A P.O.P. is a pissed-off purchase you make after having a fight with your spouse in order to seek sweet revenge and make yourself feel better.

In actuality, shopping releases a chemical called dopamine, which is supposed to promote bonding. This same chemical is released when you kiss your mate along with others such as oxytocin (calming chemical) and endorphins which put you in a good mood.

Now I know what you’re thinking. The last thing you want to do after a fight is kiss him. Shopping would probably make you feel way better. Right? Wrong. Not only are you going to waste time and money by avoiding the situation, you will only be giving yourself a temporary fix for your problems.

Instead, what you should do is just kiss and make-up.

Think about it. If you approach your man with your luscious lips after a fight, you will be doing some serious damage control. For starters, you aren’t avoiding him by going to the mall and prolonging the argument or hard feelings (not to mention saving money by not buying P.O.P’s). Secondly, you are willing to make amends quickly and smoothly. And of course with a nice passionate kiss, it will calm both your nerves down and relieve any unnecessary tension. Who knew?!

Just for kicks, here are some other great benefits of kissing I found recommended by SELF magazine:

-Kissing boosts immunity:  exchange in saliva causes your body to produce antibodies to fight foreign bacteria…mmm

-May ease allergies:  30 minutes of kissing can slow histamine production (histamine causes allergy symptoms such as sneezing and running nose)

-Healthy teeth:  kissing produces extra saliva which helps neutrilize decay-causing acids in the mouth

-A light workout:  you actually burn 6 calories/minute and use around 30 facial muscles with a nice passionate kiss

Try it for yourselves….ki$$ your hubby a little longer….trust me…it’s good for you 😉


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Salaam my dear, loyal readers and welcome to all you new readers! Sorry for being MIA. I guess I’ve just been busy being married which means there must be some depth to what my blabbering is all about on this blog. 😉

So Husbands, here are some FYI’s that surprisingly your wives will find super sexy and attractive about you. I heard these on the radio today…take notes and let me know how it goes 😉

10. He talks to her in his bedroom voice in public.

9. He prepares his will, because he wants to make sure his family will be taken care of properly after he’s gone.

8. He has a welcoming sense of humor and gets her humor.

7. He takes off his work shirt and has the right man sweat smell resonating from him.

6. He is fierce and wild when it comes to intimacy. (Clear throat).

5. He throws out his old undies and sports new ones just for her.

 Exhibit A

4. He starts working out and eating better to live a longer and healthier fit life.

3. He puts family finances before personal needs.

2. He can carry an intelligent conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime. (Ohhhhhh yaaaaaa….This is my fav).

And drumroll please……

1. He admits it when he is wrong and apologizes sincerely. (Ok maybe this one too).

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We all know that men are visual beings.  So you gotta keep yourself looking visually stimulating. Here’s a few things your man will definitely notice about you:

1. High heels. Strut your stuff in front of your hubby. Work it girl! There’s nothing wrong with wearing heels even in your house to get your man’s attention.

2. Form-fitting outfit. This is an obvious one but I mention it because some women don’t feel comfy wearing proper fitting clothes even in front of their hubbies. The key is to wear it with confidence. That’s what your man will notice more. Of course the outfit will help as well. 😉

3. Hair do. Straighten it, curl it, pin it, color it, style it, just do it! Those of us that cover, get super lazy about fixing up our hair on a regular basis. It’s a great asset. We should use it and he will notice the effort.

4. Accessorize. Accessories really complete an outfit and give you a very together look. Don’t hesitate to wear some nice jewelry to add some “umph” to you.

5. Freshen up your look. I would suggest putting on a little bit of make-up. If you are not big on make-up, then at least keep your skin soft and shiny with lotion and skin-care products. Also, keep your lips attractive and moist. Oh and floss and brush as much as possible. Even a little blush on the cheeks or light mascara can make you look fresher. You don’t have to do overdue it. Just approachable 🙂

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Do you wake up in Love?

Do you wake up in love with your spouse everyday?

Do you yearn to see each other at the end of the day?

Does the thought of your spouse give you butterflies in your stomach?

Does your heart race and ache for each other when you’re apart?

Does your spouse make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

Do you make each other laugh, smile, and giggle for no reason?

Do you get dressed up for each other?

Can you take your eyes off each other?

Can you keep your hands off each other?

Do you offer him/her the last bite?

Do you make the most of your time together?

Do you steal a kiss whenever possible?

Do you know how to make him/her melt?

Do you fall asleep in each others’ arms?

Can you imagine your life without him/her?

Do you hug and not want to let go?

Do you thank Allah everyday for your spouse?

Do you find sakoon (peace) within your spouse?

Do you go to bed in love?

If so, then say Alhumdullilah.

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Before kids, married life is well…married life.

After kids, married life becomes a thing of the past?

No, not really.

The dynamic of marriage definitely does change after having kids, but it shouldn’t be put on the back burner.

So many couples become detached and distant once they become parents unfortunately. Why is that?

What happens is that so much energy gets put into the children and their betterment that the husband and wife forget how they started off:  just the two of them. The marriage sadly gets forgotten. Kids become the priority and the couple’s needs are left in the dark or neglected as a whole.

That should not be the case. Some way or another, the couple needs to keep their relationship first and striving and fresh. Here’s a few pointers:

1. Before the baby comes, discuss your expectations for your relationship with your spouse. Develop the understanding that although alone time will be limited, it will NOT be eliminated. Regardless of how tired or exhausted you are, you must make time for one another and that includes intimacy!

2. Take a break from parenting at least once or twice a month. Leave the baby/kids with family or trusted friends and have a date night. You don’t even have to go anywhere (although that would be refreshing and a nice change of scenery from the dirty diapers and endless array of toys). Just make an effort to be alone and reconnect.

3. Stay on the same page with your spouse when it comes to parenting and disciplining the kids. Always discuss with one another before making a decision for the little ones. (This is also a way kids can’t take advantage of one particular parent over the other).

4. Find other activities to do besides being with the kids. This is related to the first two points but I am directing it more to maintaining one’s individuality. This can even apply to marriage before kids. Continue to do things YOU like to do and not just what your spouse or kids want to do. Give time to yourself by reading, working out, going out with your friends/family, or whatever else you like to do on your own.

5. Share the load. Know that one parent can’t handle all the work so divide up the tasks and give each other a hand with the kids, chores, and errands.

6. Find the romance. Make an effort to keep relighting the spark even after kids. Maintain the freshness in your relationship by doing simple things to show your spouse “You are my world”.

7. Kids won’t fix your marriage. If you are having trouble in your marriage prior to kids, don’t have kids to resolve your issues. They will only add more issues to your marriage. Solidify your relationship first and don’t use kids to solve your problems.

8. A healthy, happy marriage means healthy, happy kids. Set an example for your rugrats by maintaining a great relationship with one another. If the marriage is in tact, so will the household be. (Also, avoid arguing in front of the kids even if it’s just a small “heated discussion”).

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I think I’ve been giving the wives too many tips. Now it’s time to help the husbands out there.

This is not going to be a male-bashing post. Instead this will help your wife fall more in love with you. Just follow these few simple tips.

1. Steal a look:  At a gathering or an event where you are seated separately, let her catch you staring at her. When she notices, give her an inviting smile or pucker your lips like you are sending a kiss her way. This is sure to make her giggle or give her a tingle somewhere.

2. A single rose:  It’s Tuesday. Surprise her with a flower for no apparent reason.

3. The last bite: The next time you have a meal together, offer to share a plate with her instead of eating from separate plates. Then make sure you let her have the last bite and feed it to her yourself. She will find it to be the yummiest bite of them all.

4. Squeaky clean: Help out around the house. Anything you can do like vaccuum, load/unload the dishwasher, broom, clean the toilets, take the trash out. Whatever it is, she will love you for it. She might even get turned on by you doing housework. 😉

5. Dress to impress: Show her that you like to get dressed up for just her…not just for work or for social gatherings. Wear something you know she likes to see you in and let her know it’s just for her.

6. Note it: Send her an email or write her a card randomly just sharing your feelings about her. Be creative and leave notes for her to find throughout the day. Words are a great form of expressing your undying love for her.

7. Mini-getaway: Plan a short getaway and book a hotel in advance. Take a half day from work and have her meet you there. Arrange a lunch or picnic indoors. You can even decorate the room with petals and candles. If need ,find a sitter for the kids in advance.

8. Present-ing a gift: Who said money can’t buy love?! Even if it’s something small, make it sentimental or creative and present it to her in a sweet way.

9. Sweet nothings: Compliment her out of the blue. Let her know that you still find her the most beautiful woman in the world.

10. Break time: Give her some well-deserved time out. Arrange a massage, facial, or just a day/night out for her without you and the kids. Give her some well-deserved space, and she will come running back into your arms.

11. Make contact: Grab a hold of her hand or give her a hug randomly. Small kisses here and there go a long way as well. Go ahead and steal a kiss when she least expects it and make it passionate.

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If looks could kill, women would be locked up for sure.

We have this amazing talent, and we don’t even use it to our advantage.

There are many reasons why both men and women are asked to lower our gazes. Everything can happen with just one look. The eyes lead straight into the heart. The images our eyes pick up get read by our brains but get carried into our hearts.

So why don’t we use the beauty of our eyes to our advantage? The one person you should be wowing and wooing with your eyes over and over again is your hubby.

If our eyes are windows into our hearts, then we need to open them up and let our hubbies in.

You have the power to give your man a certain look and make him melt in an instant. Unfortunately, often times the look can be deadly when we are upset about something and instead of melting, the hubby will just run for cover.

No, I am talking about the welcoming look. The look of love. Bedroom eyes. Whatever the heck you want to call it.

As time passes and we fall into the routine of our mundane lives, we forget to even really look at one another. In a marriage eye contact is crucial. Take a minute to just stare into your man’s eyes. Stop him in his tracks. Really look at him! Come on. He can’t be that bad. You did marry the man!

You should be the coolness of your hubby’s eyes. He should find peace and comfort when he looks at you. So make yourself pleasing to look at, and he should do the same for you. Instead of trying to find time to talk or go out, how about finding time to just stare at each other? It seems cheesy, but try it.

Love should be at every site with your spouse, not just the first site.

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