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Asalaamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

Ramadan Kareem!

I pray you are in the best of health and iman this Ramadan insha Allah.

We all know the rewards this month are great for the fasters and believers and worshippers but what about all the husbands and wives out there? There doesn’t seem to be much discussion or reminders of what marriage is like in Ramadan….like a test.

The days are long, hot, and tiring. You are cranky, exhausted, hungry, sleep-deprived and have bad breath. It’s easy to take your frustrations out on your spouse during these days. But you have to remember that being a good spouse is an act of worship and the rewards are greatly increased in Ramadan.

So here’s how to make the most of your marriage during this blessed month and reap many extra rewards insha Allah:

Bismillah.

1. Be patient. This may seem the most obvious point but is also one of the hardest. Sometimes we are the nicest and most patient with everyone else BUT our spouse. Be more mindful of how you treat your significant other and know he/she is going through the same thing as you. So be nice to each other especially while you’re fasting.

2. Those that pray together stay together. Spend time making du’a together. Join together in supplication and it will bring your hearts closer. Ask Allah, and you shall receive.

3. Don’t fikhir do dhikr. Remember Allah and do salawat on the Prophet (SAW). It will calm your hearts.

4. The masjid. Encourage your husband to pray as many prayers of the day in the mosque including the fard prayers and tarawih. He will bring the barakah back into the house and you will receive the reward. This encouragement should be happening even out of Ramadan as well. Many times we expect them to stay home for iftar and dinner and miss maghrib in the masjid. Push for him to break fast and pray maghrib, then come home to eat dinner with you. Also, encourage him to go for ithikaf during the last 10 days. Besides all the reward both of you will receive from it, the time apart will be good for both of you.

5. Make his favorite foods. The way to a man’s heart is definitely his stomach. Don’t slave the whole day over the stove and waste precious ibadah time. However, make some effort preparing or arranging some of his favorite foods. He will love you for it.

6. Qur’an competition. A healthy and encouraging little competition during the month is to see which spouse can read the most Qur’an in a day, week, and month.

7. Tahajjud and suhoor. Wake up early and pray tahujjud prayer together and then enjoy a nice meal together before dawn. Try not to talk but do make loving eye contact and just enjoy each other’s company and then again make du’a together.

8. Alone time. Trying to find alone time for each other is quite tricky this month. It’s highly important to reconnect and make time for each other. Don’t forget that intimacy is also an ibadah. 😉

9. Exception to the norm. Remember that this month is full of precious days. Don’t waste time and energy stressing on how things are not going as normal or as usual. Just make the most of it.

10. Use as an example. Also use this month and all your behavioral improvements, ibadah increases, spiritual development individually and collectively as a couple to continue through the rest of the year insha Allah.

Please remember your sister in Islam during this great month. Happy fasting and wife-ing.

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Why is it often times in a marriage as the years increase, the “fire” decreases? Who puts out the fire? The husband or the wife or both?

As humans, we constantly need freshness in our lives. It is hard for us to be content with what we have and we want more more more!

In the midst of focusing on what we don’t have, we don’t notice what we do have. Our relationships grow “old” or “dry” or “boring.” We complain our husbands are not romantic enough and they’ve lost their ability to wow us or woo us. But is it really them or it is us? Have they become boring or have we?

We might have the mentality that “my man is not going anywhere” and we stop caring about keeping ourselves interesting and appealing. We let ourselves and our relationships fall into the routine and lose focus on what really matters: each other.

Men are simpletons and it’s quite easy to keep their interest upon us. We have so much power in this department and we don’t even know it nor use it to our advantage.

You might wonder why he doesn’t compliment you as much anymore? Um if you are always walking around in stinky pj’s full of baby spit up and God knows what else, do you really deserve to be complimented?

Ok, so let’s bring the sexy back and remember that in this day and age, we have the easy accessibility to meet our desires elsewhere. We are surrounded by temptation and marriage is a means to protect oneself from all that. You are the one true source of pleasure and fulfillment for your spouse so make it worth his while! Keep making your man wanting you. Remember why go out for burgers when there is steak at home?

 

Here’s 5 easy ways to bring the SEXY back:

1. Use the softness of your voice:

-When you talk on the phone anytime during the day use your sexy soft voice even if you are asking him to bring home some eggs. He might get a speeding ticket on his way home. In person, whisper into his ear. You may even say something like, “I can’t find my socks.” He will be paying more attention to the warmth of your breath against his ear and the sexiness in your voice…not what you’re saying.

 

2. Dress to Impress:

-Especially when you have no plans to go anywhere and nobody is coming over to visit, you should be dressed like a hot mama. It’s sad that women are the most modest and covered up in front of their hubbies. Or worse, they get all decked out to go to a party to impress others who won’t care as much as your hubby that you look hot. It should be your husband that you get dolled up for not anyone else. He will appreciate it the most…trust me! Ok so some helpful hints…wear nice and fitting stuff for your man and when an opportunity arises (like when loading a dishwasher, give him a moment to look down your shirt or whoops, I dropped the spoon…turn around and pick it up…you get the drift). Oh and please open up the vault and air out the intimate apparel. That will always work its magic! Make your man scream, “Aa-woo-ga!”

3. Communicate:

-Throughout the day, give him constant reasons to keep thinking of you like sending him playful texts, emails, photos, messages on FB, whatever. Just get through to him somehow and let your feet get tired because you’ll be running through his mind all day! Hahaha ok that was lame I know.

4. Through a man’s stomach:

-No joke ladies. A way to a man’s heart and then some is through his stomach. Make him his favorite meal or go out and buy it and he will find you finger linkin’ good. What’s cookin’ good lookin’?

5. Exercise does a body good:

-You don’t even have to lose a pound. Just start working out (in front of him might do even more wonders) but a woman that works out is super attractive. It shows you care about your health and yourself and he will appreciate you so much more. So let’s get physical! Physical!

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