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Archive for the ‘Retighten the Knot’ Category

Ladies, be grateful for your husbands. They are great! And you know what? You have the best one of them all. Let me remind you in case you forgot:

Husband No. 1 by tight knot

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People talk about being “crazy in love” but do you ever hear of someone feeling “healthy in love?” No, probably not very often.

When I say “healthy”, I’m talking about the outcome of a healthy relationship.

I’ve heard people tell me that happiness does not last long in marriage. Or I’ve also been told that you can’t be happy always in marriage. This is quite disturbing. What is “happiness” exactly and why aren’t people finding it with their spouse?

This is where the healthy aspect comes into play. If a couple has a healthy relationship, happiness comes naturally for them. It is the simple things that count, moments and opportunities not being passed up, and priorities being straight. Why is everyone always wanting to get the most of their partner? Why not want to just give and not expect anything back? If both partners did that, then there would be a lot of peace in the marriage.

Think of it like this:  if your marriage is healthy, you will be too. All other aspects of your life center around your marriage whether you want them to or not. If you get into a fight, your day is ruined or your night and your sleep. However, if you’re feeling healthy from your marriage, you can concentrate on other things such as work, hobbies, friends, family, spirituality, etc. If marriage sucks for you, most likely other things in your life will too.

I’m not going to tell you to always be happy in your marriage or with your spouse. Some days are tough. Since no one can be happy every moment of the day…at least find happiness in every day with your hubby. Start noticing the little things that are good instead of everything that bothers you. It is great for your health to feel love for your spouse as much as possible. You feel better, look better, and enjoy life more. Be healthy in love, because love definitely has an affect on your health.

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I think I’ve been giving the wives too many tips. Now it’s time to help the husbands out there.

This is not going to be a male-bashing post. Instead this will help your wife fall more in love with you. Just follow these few simple tips.

1. Steal a look:  At a gathering or an event where you are seated separately, let her catch you staring at her. When she notices, give her an inviting smile or pucker your lips like you are sending a kiss her way. This is sure to make her giggle or give her a tingle somewhere.

2. A single rose:  It’s Tuesday. Surprise her with a flower for no apparent reason.

3. The last bite: The next time you have a meal together, offer to share a plate with her instead of eating from separate plates. Then make sure you let her have the last bite and feed it to her yourself. She will find it to be the yummiest bite of them all.

4. Squeaky clean: Help out around the house. Anything you can do like vaccuum, load/unload the dishwasher, broom, clean the toilets, take the trash out. Whatever it is, she will love you for it. She might even get turned on by you doing housework. 😉

5. Dress to impress: Show her that you like to get dressed up for just her…not just for work or for social gatherings. Wear something you know she likes to see you in and let her know it’s just for her.

6. Note it: Send her an email or write her a card randomly just sharing your feelings about her. Be creative and leave notes for her to find throughout the day. Words are a great form of expressing your undying love for her.

7. Mini-getaway: Plan a short getaway and book a hotel in advance. Take a half day from work and have her meet you there. Arrange a lunch or picnic indoors. You can even decorate the room with petals and candles. If need ,find a sitter for the kids in advance.

8. Present-ing a gift: Who said money can’t buy love?! Even if it’s something small, make it sentimental or creative and present it to her in a sweet way.

9. Sweet nothings: Compliment her out of the blue. Let her know that you still find her the most beautiful woman in the world.

10. Break time: Give her some well-deserved time out. Arrange a massage, facial, or just a day/night out for her without you and the kids. Give her some well-deserved space, and she will come running back into your arms.

11. Make contact: Grab a hold of her hand or give her a hug randomly. Small kisses here and there go a long way as well. Go ahead and steal a kiss when she least expects it and make it passionate.

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I have discussed the concept of time in marriage quite often before.

I can’t seem to emphasize it enough. How is a couple supposed to grow together if they don’t spend any time together?

We have to make time for one another.

Take time into your own hands.

 

No one is going to make time for us. Everyone has it tough. We all have exhausting days, same old routines, the everyday taking the best and most out of us.

But what if we don’t make it to tomorrow? Why do we let the days just pass on by without even appreciating our time with our spouse or our families? That’s so sad.

If things seem too blah is it our hubbies or is it us? I know I’ve asked that question before so what’s the answer?

Find someone to watch the kids and plan a nice outing with your man. If you don’t got time to do that then take advantage of the hour or two together after the kids have gone to bed.

Make time for one another. Make time to look at each other. Make time to hold his hand. Make time to kiss him like you mean it. Make time to hold him tight. Make time to make love. Make time to enjoy being married.

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If looks could kill, women would be locked up for sure.

We have this amazing talent, and we don’t even use it to our advantage.

There are many reasons why both men and women are asked to lower our gazes. Everything can happen with just one look. The eyes lead straight into the heart. The images our eyes pick up get read by our brains but get carried into our hearts.

So why don’t we use the beauty of our eyes to our advantage? The one person you should be wowing and wooing with your eyes over and over again is your hubby.

If our eyes are windows into our hearts, then we need to open them up and let our hubbies in.

You have the power to give your man a certain look and make him melt in an instant. Unfortunately, often times the look can be deadly when we are upset about something and instead of melting, the hubby will just run for cover.

No, I am talking about the welcoming look. The look of love. Bedroom eyes. Whatever the heck you want to call it.

As time passes and we fall into the routine of our mundane lives, we forget to even really look at one another. In a marriage eye contact is crucial. Take a minute to just stare into your man’s eyes. Stop him in his tracks. Really look at him! Come on. He can’t be that bad. You did marry the man!

You should be the coolness of your hubby’s eyes. He should find peace and comfort when he looks at you. So make yourself pleasing to look at, and he should do the same for you. Instead of trying to find time to talk or go out, how about finding time to just stare at each other? It seems cheesy, but try it.

Love should be at every site with your spouse, not just the first site.

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Why is it often times in a marriage as the years increase, the “fire” decreases? Who puts out the fire? The husband or the wife or both?

As humans, we constantly need freshness in our lives. It is hard for us to be content with what we have and we want more more more!

In the midst of focusing on what we don’t have, we don’t notice what we do have. Our relationships grow “old” or “dry” or “boring.” We complain our husbands are not romantic enough and they’ve lost their ability to wow us or woo us. But is it really them or it is us? Have they become boring or have we?

We might have the mentality that “my man is not going anywhere” and we stop caring about keeping ourselves interesting and appealing. We let ourselves and our relationships fall into the routine and lose focus on what really matters: each other.

Men are simpletons and it’s quite easy to keep their interest upon us. We have so much power in this department and we don’t even know it nor use it to our advantage.

You might wonder why he doesn’t compliment you as much anymore? Um if you are always walking around in stinky pj’s full of baby spit up and God knows what else, do you really deserve to be complimented?

Ok, so let’s bring the sexy back and remember that in this day and age, we have the easy accessibility to meet our desires elsewhere. We are surrounded by temptation and marriage is a means to protect oneself from all that. You are the one true source of pleasure and fulfillment for your spouse so make it worth his while! Keep making your man wanting you. Remember why go out for burgers when there is steak at home?

 

Here’s 5 easy ways to bring the SEXY back:

1. Use the softness of your voice:

-When you talk on the phone anytime during the day use your sexy soft voice even if you are asking him to bring home some eggs. He might get a speeding ticket on his way home. In person, whisper into his ear. You may even say something like, “I can’t find my socks.” He will be paying more attention to the warmth of your breath against his ear and the sexiness in your voice…not what you’re saying.

 

2. Dress to Impress:

-Especially when you have no plans to go anywhere and nobody is coming over to visit, you should be dressed like a hot mama. It’s sad that women are the most modest and covered up in front of their hubbies. Or worse, they get all decked out to go to a party to impress others who won’t care as much as your hubby that you look hot. It should be your husband that you get dolled up for not anyone else. He will appreciate it the most…trust me! Ok so some helpful hints…wear nice and fitting stuff for your man and when an opportunity arises (like when loading a dishwasher, give him a moment to look down your shirt or whoops, I dropped the spoon…turn around and pick it up…you get the drift). Oh and please open up the vault and air out the intimate apparel. That will always work its magic! Make your man scream, “Aa-woo-ga!”

3. Communicate:

-Throughout the day, give him constant reasons to keep thinking of you like sending him playful texts, emails, photos, messages on FB, whatever. Just get through to him somehow and let your feet get tired because you’ll be running through his mind all day! Hahaha ok that was lame I know.

4. Through a man’s stomach:

-No joke ladies. A way to a man’s heart and then some is through his stomach. Make him his favorite meal or go out and buy it and he will find you finger linkin’ good. What’s cookin’ good lookin’?

5. Exercise does a body good:

-You don’t even have to lose a pound. Just start working out (in front of him might do even more wonders) but a woman that works out is super attractive. It shows you care about your health and yourself and he will appreciate you so much more. So let’s get physical! Physical!

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Playing the Blame Game in a marriage is very useless and dangerous.

One issue Baba Longbeard and I have never been able to resolve is who has the harder day. He says he did. I say I did. We happen to both be right.

However, regardless of how difficult or stressful my day is, it is not his fault. How could it be? He wasn’t there. He was out competing to have just as hard of a day if not harder.

You see it’s very easy to point fingers and say “You did this to me!”

But in reality how is that possible? If you choose to be home with the kids….wait…let me rephrase that….if you have the blessing to raise your kids then learn to enjoy that time with them. A stay-sane-must is to manage your time properly throughout the day. By keeping you and your kids on some kind of schedule, you will be able to handle the day-to-day better. It’s when we don’t know what to do with our time and our kids that we start going nuts.

When hubby walks in through the door at the end of the day almost deflated, the last thing you want to do is stomp all over him and release whatever air is left in him. Instead you should inflate him with understanding, affection, and compassion. Put him in a good mood right when he gets home. Make him and yourself forget (for at least the time being) how the day sucked and just enjoy each other’s company. Offer him a snack, a back rub, give him some time to catch his breath. Trust me he will appreciate it and you so much more and will do his best to return the sweetness. 

Even if your day was crummy and draining, make the most of the remaining of your day by welcoming the hubby with open arms. You set the tone of the atmosphere in your home. If you are happy, he will be too. 

Find other outlets to relieve your daily stresses instead of blaming your spouse for your problems. Take ownership of your choices, your decisions, and your life. Stop using your hubby or your marriage as an excuse not to take care of yourself and your needs. I’ve said it before, by making yourself a priority, you will have a better YOU to present to your family. If you want to continue your career along with running a house and family, then learn to balance it all. Whatever you decide to focus on whether it be your family, the house, furthering your education, do it right and do it well without blaming others (especially your man) for your shortcomings. A happy wife makes a happy life.

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