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Archive for the ‘muslim’ Category

Who knew on this day you would be born for me?

Who knew the distance of 7,000 miles would not keep you apart from me?

Who knew 20 years after my first breath, you would take my breath away from me?

Who knew the one man my father didn’t want for me would be the one that truly cared for me?

Who knew that when he was sick, you’d love him even more than me?

Who knew that when my mother was alone, you’d open our home so she can be close to me?

Who knew this light you carry would be a guidance for me?

Who knew your smile would be a melting point for me?

Who knew your touch would be a freezing point for me?

Who knew your voice would soften every nerve within me?

Who knew you were destined for me?

No one knew except the One who had written you for me and I thank Him so deeply.

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Bismillah. Disclaimer:  I’m no scholar.
So in the spirit of Ramadan, I’m just going to go ahead and give you my 2 cents on hijab.
Stop taking it off, ladies. Stop telling me that it’s too hard for you. Stop saying that it’s not who you really are. Stop saying you’ll put it back on when you’re older or old. Stop saying that now it’s okay for you to wear short, short sleeves and keep your chest exposed in tight-fitted low-neck tops. All I have to say is WHAT?! Why did you put it on in the first place? It’s not removable. It’s a commitment for life, not a choice.
Those of you who took it off after engagement or marriage, stop blaming your husband or in-laws or your parents for “making” you take it off. Did your main squeeze not know who you were when you met? Did he MISS something???? And men, why do you want other men gawking at your wife? What’s wrong with you?
Hijab is a lifestyle improvement. I’ve been wearing it for over a decade now alhumdullilah. But notice I used the word “wear” instead of “practice” hijab. That is actually the appropriate word that should be associated with hijab because it is a concept…not an object. Although it may seem like an object wrapped around your head, but it is much more than that. I would like to say that I personally practice hijab, but I’m not completely there yet…even after this many years. I do wear it but it’s a gradual process…an evolution that you progress and develop through slowly. I’m no better than someone who doesn’t wear it. I have a long way to go still and lots of improvements to make iA.
Now I commend you for wearing it or just considering it. Allah is bringing you closer to Him in this way. As a mother and especially a mother of a daughter, I realize the importance of modesty and conservatism much more now. You don’t want your daughters to necessarily make the same decisions as you…you want them to be better and stronger. That is at least how I am with my daughter.
The way we were raised is very “cultural” and not very “religous.” Overall you can say our parents were “conservative” because they didn’t encourage dating or a “loose” lifestyle where we as girls would party or go clubbing. However, when it comes to Islam, it was more for fasting and praying for the most part not changing our life around. I would say religion was more practiced when it was convenient than anything else.
Now as you know Islam is a way of life. So culture and religion should be intertwined. Now we cover ourselves when we stand in front of Allah in prayer right? But isn’t Allah always watching us? Aren’t we always in front of Him?
Many people argue that in the Qur’an it doesn’t specifically say to “cover your hair/head”.  It actually says to cover the chest for women. Now that is an easy argument or should I say escape method for those that don’t want to consider hijab. People pick and choose things from the Qur’an that are convenient for them. Yes, it is a Book that we can read for face value. But it is SO much more than that and there is much research and study that needs to be done when interpreting the Qur’an. You can’t just translate an ayah and say “that’s what it says.” Many people don’t realize that when that ayah came down, the women of that era/time were already covering their heads. That was a natural part of life. (Look at even all the religious epic movies like Ten Commandments and Passion of Christ or all the pictures depicting the Virgin Mary and so on….they are always shown with their heads covered). But those same women were covering their heads with their shawls hanging behind their shoulders over their backs so the shape of their chests was exposed. That is why if you study that ayah #31 in Surah Nur, it actually commands the women to bring their shawls “around” to the front of their bodies to cover their “bosoms”. It doesn’t state to cover their heads because they were already covering them.
Although a woman’s hair can be one of her most attractive features, it is a woman’s body that gets more attention…especially her chest and backside to be frank. Guys don’t check out a girl’s hair and fall in love with her necessarily. It is her chest or backside that makes them lust over her more.
This is where the “practice” of hijab comes in. Hijab means “covering” as in the action more than the noun.
If you are considering hijab seroiusly, I’d advise you to do baby steps. First and foremost, make sure your husband is 110% supportive. You both need to be on the same page spritually or he needs to be leading you in that direction somehow in order to keep you and your marriage sane. Secondly, start making small changes like wearing long sleeves, looser tops and pants, covering your chest and make sure you are comfortable. Also, if you aren’t already then start making sure you are praying all 5 prayers a day. Once you start doing that everything else falls in place. That is a fard (obligation) we can’t ignore or undermine. That is the most important and the first thing that will come protect us in our grave. I also recommend praying isthakara and asking Allah to guide you through this process more smoothly.
Then when you think if and when you are ready to start wearing hijab, practice wearing it to the grocery store, library, park, etc. See how it makes you feel. One of the first things I realized was that I already don’t “fit in” in this country because I’m not Caucasian. Nobody is going to speak for me or save me on the Day of Judgment from Allah so I need to stop caring and worrying about what others think.
As Muslims, we should naturally be God-conscience and be thinking of Him at all times. With hijab you tend to be more aware of your actions and who you are as a human being. We don’t live crazy “harami” lifestyles where by putting a hijab on we will have to “give up” so much. Trust me when I say that hijab hasn’t hindered me from living a “normal” life. If anything it’s made my life better and worth living, because I know who I am.
I love walking past a stranger and receiving a salaam from them. No other religion has that. Yes, the media has really screwed up the image of Muslims, but that’s why we have to represent the truth. Let them see that we are good God-fearing and God-loving people.
It is not foreign to other faiths either. Christians and Jews are commanded to cover their heads as well (Corinthian 1:11) but modernity has taken over and women here feel the less they wear the more liberated they are. Even Muslim women have fallen into this illusion. That makes me sad that they have to become practically naked to be recognized and get anywhere in this world. If that’s not oppression I don’t know what is.
Your husband should be the only one to truly admire and see your full beauty. I don’t want to walk into a McDonald’s and be checked out by a greasy cashier to feel good about myself. When I dress up at home and get “checked out” by my hubby, that’s when I feel beautiful and Allah rewards you for that.
May Allah make this process smooth and easy for us and bring us all on the Straight Path ameen.

Forgive me if I offended anyone. That was never my intention.

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