Trust me when I say that you are NOT sleeping with the enemy.
Also, believe me when I say that you are NOT the victim.
You are in a marriage which is a union of 2 individuals. There has to be an understanding from both sides. It is not a power struggle nor a good guy and a bad guy game.
Remember that men are simple beings. They don’t ask much from their women nor expect much besides approval, acceptance, and appreciation. It my last few blogs I’ve emphasized acceptance and appreciation of your men. Today I will discuss the importance of approval.
We need to realize that we are designed by Allah very differently. We shouldn’t expect our hubbies to be our girlfriends. They are not going to see things the way we do nor deal with situations in the same manner as us.
But, we must value their opinions and how they address certain issues. Our way is NOT always right, ladies! If you want his help, don’t criticize or analyze or even observe how he’s helping. You want him to do the dishes? Fine, then step out of the kitchen and do something else. Don’t monitor his every move and tell him all his efforts are wrongly done. He will not want to help at all then.
Another example is how to discipline and deal with the kids. You and the kids shouldn’t gang up on dad. The parent-child relationship is secondary to the husband-wife relationship. If that is in tact, then the rest of the household will prosper. Plus, you will set a better example for your kids when they get married eventually.
You should see eye-to-eye on matters especially when it comes to the kids. Yes, you will not agree all the time, but learn to compromise. Sometimes you can even agree to disagree, my friends. Let him be the “man” of the house, the ameer (leader) of the family. By doing that, he will always take you into consideration.
Today’s assignment is simple.
Ask your hubby for his advice on something and then go along with what he says. Tell him you appreciate his opinion and you will do just that. If you can’t do this then have him do something around the house, don’t watch him do it or check up on him later, and then kindly thank him for his effort. He might just clean the rest of the house for you or watch the kids for a longer period of time!
Let me know how this one goes. It’s hard….I know. Good luck!
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