Asalaamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.
I pray you are in the best of health and iman this Ramadan insha Allah.
We all know the rewards this month are great for the fasters and believers and worshippers but what about all the husbands and wives out there? There doesn’t seem to be much discussion or reminders of what marriage is like in Ramadan….like a test.
The days are long, hot, and tiring. You are cranky, exhausted, hungry, sleep-deprived and have bad breath. It’s easy to take your frustrations out on your spouse during these days. But you have to remember that being a good spouse is an act of worship and the rewards are greatly increased in Ramadan.
So here’s how to make the most of your marriage during this blessed month and reap many extra rewards insha Allah:
1. Be patient. This may seem the most obvious point but is also one of the hardest. Sometimes we are the nicest and most patient with everyone else BUT our spouse. Be more mindful of how you treat your significant other and know he/she is going through the same thing as you. So be nice to each other especially while you’re fasting.
2. Those that pray together stay together. Spend time making du’a together. Join together in supplication and it will bring your hearts closer. Ask Allah, and you shall receive.
3. Don’t fikhir do dhikr. Remember Allah and do salawat on the Prophet (SAW). It will calm your hearts.
4. The masjid. Encourage your husband to pray as many prayers of the day in the mosque including the fard prayers and tarawih. He will bring the barakah back into the house and you will receive the reward. This encouragement should be happening even out of Ramadan as well. Many times we expect them to stay home for iftar and dinner and miss maghrib in the masjid. Push for him to break fast and pray maghrib, then come home to eat dinner with you. Also, encourage him to go for ithikaf during the last 10 days. Besides all the reward both of you will receive from it, the time apart will be good for both of you.
5. Make his favorite foods. The way to a man’s heart is definitely his stomach. Don’t slave the whole day over the stove and waste precious ibadah time. However, make some effort preparing or arranging some of his favorite foods. He will love you for it.
6. Qur’an competition. A healthy and encouraging little competition during the month is to see which spouse can read the most Qur’an in a day, week, and month.
7. Tahajjud and suhoor. Wake up early and pray tahujjud prayer together and then enjoy a nice meal together before dawn. Try not to talk but do make loving eye contact and just enjoy each other’s company and then again make du’a together.
8. Alone time. Trying to find alone time for each other is quite tricky this month. It’s highly important to reconnect and make time for each other. Don’t forget that intimacy is also an ibadah. ;)
9. Exception to the norm. Remember that this month is full of precious days. Don’t waste time and energy stressing on how things are not going as normal or as usual. Just make the most of it.
10. Use as an example. Also use this month and all your behavioral improvements, ibadah increases, spiritual development individually and collectively as a couple to continue through the rest of the year insha Allah.
Please remember your sister in Islam during this great month. Happy fasting and wife-ing.